Words will fail to explain what I experienced in the last 7 days because the feelings are so much greater. I sit and contemplate the idea that it’s better to not say anything at all to spare myself from all the people who are going to think I sound absolutely crazy. Does this new version of me care though? Nah. So, let’s just get on with it then.
I wasn’t planning on blogging about this as I haven’t had any interest in posting a blog for years. I assure you that the person who threw down thoughts inside a virtual journal in the past is not the same person I am today. I’m not even the same person I was a week ago and even though I was only gone for 7 days, I feel like I have been gone for a month. A quick story post about my experience to Instagram and Facebook did not seem like it would be sufficient and telling people simply that it was the best week of my life also isn’t going to be enough. I toyed with the idea of saying absolutely nothing as well to protect it at all costs from the naysayers. However, I am more inspired to post this for all the people who are genuinely curious, want to possibly attend a retreat themselves and to hold my own memory of how incredibly happy I was being there.
If you follow me on social media, before the retreat began, I explained how I deliberately manifested a spot in this event. Long story short, the event was sold out, I joined the waitlist with thousands of others, but I told myself that none of it mattered because in my mind I was going to this event. Not only that, but I would get a really affordable hotel right next door. Many people in the Facebook group and on YouTube spoke about how they have been trying for years to get into one of his events and it wasn’t happening because they sell out so fast. Regardless, I visualized myself being there a couple of times and then let it go. Couple of months later with less than 30 days til the event, I got the email saying they had an open spot. Boom. I knew I had done it.
Everything and I mean everything fell perfectly into place. Not only did I manage to get a hotel so late in the game, but my hotel was quite literally right next door to the event. All I had to do to get there was get in the elevator, walk outside, cross the street and walk through the beautifully lit up Convention Center doors. The other nice perk was that my hotel was literally right next door to Dr. Joe’s hotel. So often times as I was walking in, he was too. When I told that to the other attendees, they were astonished at how often I would run into him on the outside. Yeah dude, I did that, with my thoughts…obviously. đ
If you don’t know who Dr. Joe Dispenza is, I highly recommend you get on YouTube or Google and look him up. Check out his website and books. This blog isn’t going to go into great details about what he does, but rather my experience spending a week with him. What I can tell you is that he is nothing like Tony Robbin’s (for all the people asking), he is not a monk, a yogi master, some sort of spiritual guru or a cult leader. They didn’t even sell merchandise at this event and I guarantee people would have bought it. He has zero interest in the moon, mercury in retrograde, horoscopes, tarot, specific diets, sageing or crystals. Not that there is anything wrong with those things, but his work is all based in science and when it comes to scientific data, it’s really hard to argue with it. He doesn’t want you to rely on him or anything else. He wants you to become your own hero, period. So before you go making any assumptions, do your own research, please.
Day 1, walking into registration, I was equally nervous and excited (Nervecited?! lol) I didn’t know what to expect. Once I received the “Be More” badge with my name on it, I relaxed. I was in and this was actually happening. By the way, every one of his events have their own unique title. This one was called Be More. Everyday they would have the official Be More logo up on the giant screens and underneath it would rotate and flash words such as… Love, Unlimited, Inspired, Free, Grateful, Happy, etc. You get the idea. During registration, they allow you to choose what color team you would like to be on and then you receive a wrist band with that specific color. This puts you in a smaller group, with team leaders, specific seating and dining locations that would rotate daily. This way, everyone gets a chance to sit up front and of course, live in the unknown. I’m sure you can guess what color I chose. Pink of course, duh! They also give everyone an official t-shirt and their own refillable water bottle. Not too shabby.
All of the volunteers and staff members were so welcoming, so sweet, patient and incredibly helpful. There were a few times I needed assistance and they were always right there for me with such kindness and efficiency. I immediately felt like I was in the right place for the first time in my life. I knew that I was meant to be there. Let’s break it down for minute. I received more hugs, more smiles, more love and more gifts in the past week, than I have in the past 5 years. The best part was that it was all so genuine. No one was being fake, no one was gossiping, no one was whining and complaining and no one was left out. Hard to imagine, right? That is the byproduct of being around people who are truly connected to their own heart. Side note: This is what we need more of in the world. The illusion of separation, competition, manipulation and fear is the by product of us going unconscious and believing we are powerless to stop it.
So on Day 1, the event officially began later that evening and long before Dr. Joe even came out on stage I was chatting it up with the other people on my pink team and soon they were inviting me to come up and dance with them. I mean, I’d been there for like 5 minutes and I already felt so welcomed. If you know me, you know I love to dance. I haven’t been clubbing in a long time, but every day at this “meditation retreat” we had a freakin’ party. It didn’t matter if it was 5 am, 2 pm, or 8 pm. We danced and we danced hard. At the tail end of every one of our breaks, they would play positive uplifting dance music that you can’t help but move your body too. (I’ll be so happy when I receive that playlist in my email next week!) Anyway, so Dr. Joe comes out on stage and he always dances with us for at least one entire song. You can feel the love and the energy throughout the entire room and folks, this is my happy place.
Let’s talk about the schedule for a moment. I’m well known to be a night owl and have an easy time staying up all hours of the night and sleeping in late. However, this event was going to completely throw off the sleep schedule that I’m used to. Most days I had to wake up at 4:30 am and one of the days we had to be in the ballroom and in our seats at 4:00 am sharp, so I had to wake up at 2:30 am that day. That is typically the time when I go to sleep, but here, this was the start of my day. Mind you, there wasn’t any nap breaks during the day. We started at 4:00 am or 6:00 am and went until 8:00 pm at night. Then if you want to go out for dinner or go see the Fireworks over the Falls at 10:00 pm (which happens every single night by the way), shower and all that good stuff, there isn’t much time left for sleep or anything else. In fact, my work out routine went completely out the window, but since we were doing long walking meditations and breaking a sweat dancing multiple times a day, I didn’t worry about it too much. The schedule was always subject to change as Dr. Joe lives in “no-time” and breaking the predictable future we all tend to live in. If you’re a scheduler by nature, this might be really uncomfortable for you. It also might be exactly what you need.
So, for the entire week, I averaged around (drum roll please), 2 to 4 hours of sleep per night. No, I’m not exaggerating. By Day 3, my old programming was starting to kick in and I started to fear getting sick. I kinda started to feel my throat getting a little wonky in the way I usually do at the beginning of a nasty cold, but after I nipped that thought in the bud and focused more on feeling gratitude for my healthy body, in no time at all, it went away. “Where you place your attention is where you place your energy.” If I am truly the creator of my experience, I don’t have to believe this nonsense anymore. Typically on a normal day where I got hardly any rest, I would become grouchy, irritable, short with other people, lazy, full of excuses and predict having a terrible day. But here, at this retreat, I was hardly sleeping at all, and yet I felt more alive than ever. I felt so full of love with a boatload of vitality to get through a 12-16 hour day. “That’s energy!” as Dr. Joe would say.
The food was great. They fed us breakfast and lunch along with two snack breaks per day. They had plenty of amazing healthy vegan options (amongst other things Dena doesn’t eat) and you could go back up for more as much as you wanted. I never went hungry and for all we were doing, I definitely felt like I needed the extra fuel. Liquids on the other hand, I tried to limit. When you are meditating for hours and yes, one of the meditations was 5 hours long beginning at 4 am, you may want to limit how much you’re drinking. If you needed to leave the ballroom to use the bathroom or for any other reason, they would not let you back in as it can be super disruptive. Thankfully, that was never an issue for me. The other part is, that if you’re truly forgetting about your body during the meditation, you just stop noticing any feelings of uncomfortable symptoms. Your body is in a relaxed (Alpha brain waves), dreamy sleep like state (Theta brain waves), but your mind is conscious and awake. These slower brain wave patterns allow your subconscious to become easily programmable. So be careful what you fall asleep watching on tv, got it? Fun fact: Theta is your ticket to lucid dreaming, in case you were wondering.
Before this week began, I was considered to be a novice meditator. A newbie, if you will. However now, clocking in with a good 35-40 hours of meditation just in the past 7 days alone, I am officially considered an advanced meditator. My brain has completely changed for the better and in fact it’s in a much healthier state than it was 7 days ago, to put it in simple terms. One hundred percent of the people there will have the same effect, whether you believe it had any affect on you or not. If you want to know more about the data on the health benefits of practicing this type of work, please go to Dr. Joe’s website. Even if I wanted to explain his work more in detail here, I would not be able to do it any justice. So do yourself a favor and go straight to the source.
Speaking of which, meditating with Dr. Joe is not like anything you have ever experienced, I guarantee it. It’s not closing your eyes, sitting cross-legged and humming. No, this is like a rock show, but for meditators. The music is incredible. It’s loud, but in a really good way and he is doing it all live. He is there to push you to your limits. This is about breaking old habits, patterns and negative programming. This is about pulling the mind out of the body. This is about owning your shit and getting beyond it. This is not for the faint of heart and emotions will run wild. This is for people who are willing to look at themselves, recognizing the addictions they have to the emotions of their past and breaking up with them. The challenge? You do it without any distractions. Without your cell phone, without Netflix, the news, social media, shopping, pills or whatever else it is you like to do to avoid that uncomfortable feeling within you. Dr. Joe is like a drill sergeant at times, but in the most loving way possible. I can’t tell you how many times I cried, cried hysterically that is, but it felt so good every time.
For the entire week, I deleted all of my social media apps. He asked us not to post and I honored that request. I didn’t text with anyone and I forgot about the people back home (sorry, kids), my jobs, emails, pretty much everything. The whole point is to get away from the known. Get off the hamster wheel and become conscious. I thought it would be difficult, but I felt so free. I didn’t feel like I was missing anything because I was gaining so much more. I was truly in the river of change. Moving forward, I will be setting boundaries with all of those things I used to give so much of my attention to because the benefits are huge.
So, we practiced 4 different types of meditations. Sitting, laying down, standing and my personal favorite…walking. Yes, learning to do it with your eyes open and walk as that new version of you. It’s all well and good to sit for an hour and meditate to create your future in the morning, but what are you doing with the other 23 hours of the day? As Dr. Joe always says, it’s like eating a healthy organic breakfast and then eating junk food the rest of the day. How far is that going to get you? It’s so important to remain present throughout the day so you can catch yourself when you go unconscious again and fall back into the VR System, aka the Matrix.
Ah yes, being present. The difference between Day 1 and Day 7 when it came to my ability to stay in the present moment was like night and day. As the week progressed, my monkey mind thoughts quieted way down. It became easier for me to quickly get into the void of thinking about, well, nothing. The more you become “nothing”, the closer you are to source, to the quantum field. The more coherent your brain and heart become, the healthier you become, the happier you become, the freer you become. Learning the science behind the quantum field and the multiverse (yes, it’s real) was definitely my favorite of all his teachings. Well that and learning that my pineal gland has crystals attached to it and when stimulated through the proper breathing technique, can give you an actual “braingasm”. Including but not limited to, mystical experiences beyond your wildest dreams. Whoops, told myself I wouldn’t go there. Awkward.đ¤
People take all kinds of drugs to experience things that you can literally produce naturally within your own body, but those pills in and of themselves are full of limitations. There was a very strict no drugs, no alcohol, no-natta- nothin’ sketchy policy, or you would immediately be asked to leave. Luckily for me, I’m not into any of that stuff, so easy peasy, lemon squeezy.
I still wonder though, how do I explain some of the things I experienced and saw without sounding completely looney tunes? How do I explain the miraculous coherence healings that happened right before my eyes that I was a part of? I can’t. It’s too sacred, too special. What I will say though is that some of the things I witnessed, was nothing short of a miracle. Peoples lives were truly changed. We are SO much more powerful than we think we are. It’s okay to be a skeptic because I was too. Sometimes it all seems so surreal that I have to keep revisiting the information because my own ego is like, but HOW is this real life? So, I get it if you aren’t ready to explore. You will when and if you’re ready and that is totally cool too. Since I was a little girl, I always had this feeling within me that I couldn’t explain, but I knew there was more to life than what my eyes could see in front of me. I freakin’ felt it dude and the truth is that there actually is so much more. If you have that feeling within you too, I encourage you to go deeper. It’s so worth it.
One of the biggest reasons I came to this event was to learn how to open my heart. I’ve been trying at home for years on my own with no success. I would sit and listen to his meditations or some other recording on YouTube and try to feel something…anything. I would try to feel love in my heart and I just couldn’t. For years, maybe even decades, I had been in a dominate state of lack, depression, anxiety, and emotionally silently suffering. Most people don’t realize this because I am such a bubbly person by nature, but “behind a smile” (the title of a song I wrote on my first record, hehe) I was always in pain. My heart was completely closed off and I didn’t know how to fix it. I just felt numb and I also felt like the only way to feel something was to go get it from another person. Well, by Day 2 of this event, my heart was cracking open, little by little. The more we practiced “the breath”, (aka a very specific technique I will not go into here), it was as if all my stored up emotions that had been stuck (for God only knows how long) in the lower energy centers of my body were being released up and out through the top of my brain. By mid week, I was experiencing a level of love in my heart I never thought was possible. I was having a lot of heart-orgasms, if you will. You know what the best part about that was? It was all coming from within me. Not another person, not a movie, not a pill, not anything, but me. I truly hope that everyone at some point in their life gets to experience this amount of love as it is always there if you understand how to access it. I am forever changed by it. The feeling of being truly whole and needing nothing outside of myself to experience that, is indescribable. So just with that alone, my mission for going there, was complete. Everything else was gravy, but oh baby, I do love my gravy.
I also made some pretty sweet friendships. A lot of them. Friends I will remain connected with and visit I’m sure. Did I mention there were 41 different countries represented at this event? I made like-minded friends with people from all over the world and some decently close to home as well. There were young children, elderly adults and every age in between in attendance all going through the same experience. Can you picture a 7 year old meditating for hours on end and saying how good it feels? Yeah, that happened. For the first time in my life, I felt accepted for exactly who I was. I felt wanted. I felt loved. I felt included. I felt safe. I didn’t feel like the odd duck out. I didn’t feel judged. I didn’t feel like a loner that nobody understood. There were people who would run and get me things I needed without me even asking. I was so humbled and incredibly grateful. I received personal gifts that were totally unexpected almost every day that I was there. The more love I felt in my heart, the more my world reflected this back in a way I didn’t know was possible. It was also fun going out at night and running into other people with their wrist bands on and you immediately start chatting with them about the day and what you experienced. It was a kind of a connection that you don’t normally get when you just hit up the local Target or grocery store if you know what I’m sayin’.
There were many times I was challenged to get over myself. Lack of sleep, worrying about getting sick, the amount of bees (my worst fear ever) surrounding us outdoors, feeling like I had to look perfect all the time and the freezing cold ballroom. They keep the room super cold to make sure you’re not falling asleep. It’s important to wear lots of layers and bring a warm blanket for when you’re laying on the floor or else you’re gonna shiver, my friend. Anyway, the point is, the girl who walked into registration on Monday, was not the same girl on Sunday, who laid down on the wet ground, in the rain, to meditate, knowing that my hair and make-up would be completely ruined and also knowing that there is always a camera guy running around constantly taking photos and video of us. Why? Because I was getting over myself!! When you feel that level of connection to who you truly are, you simply just don’t care what’s going on around you. That might not be a big deal for some, but for me, it was massive shift. The energy and beauty of the Niagara Falls themselves was overwhelming and just added to the intensity. To be able to do multiple walking meditations right there next to them, was so powerful. It’s impossible not to get emotional and I am right now again, just thinking about it.
In conclusion, this retreat was above and beyond my wildest dreams. I love Dr. Joe so much more now than I already did. I feel so much gratitude for everything he teaches and who he is as a person. He is charismatic and hilarious with some pretty sweet dance moves, lol. He was out there on the Falls with us every single time, pushing us to keep choosing our future over our past. He calls you out, but he does it with compassion because he was once in that place of struggle too. I’ve never witnessed someone as present as him, so authentic and so special. Being who you truly are and leading with your heart is the most attractive thing a person can be and achieving this state of being will magnetize everyone and everything to you. It’s the law.
Moving forward with my life, I am making meditation a priority in my daily routine, with an hour a day being the absolute minimum. I would be a fool not to, knowing what I now know. It no longer feels like a chore to get up and do it. That 5 to 10 minute YouTube meditation on self love is no longer going to cut it honestly. Those are cool for a quick refresh, but not enough to achieve the results you’re looking for.
I feel refreshed. I feel like a brand new me and that is because I see life through a new lens. I definitely plan on attending a follow up retreat in the future, but as the man himself said, it’s important to continue to do this work in your life no matter where you are. You don’t need to travel to an exotic island or the Grand Canyon to change your beliefs. You don’t have to spend thousands of dollars on retreats if you don’t want to. Everything you need to live an extraordinary life is already within you and when you understand that, you don’t have to go anywhere to get what you want. It will find you when you least expect it, that is, in the unknown.