Happy New Year everyone!
Now that 2016 is finally here, I am ready. Ready to share my personal thoughts and feelings with all of you who are curious cats. You don’t have to agree with what I say and you don’t have to like it. Maybe I will piss you off, or maybe you will fall madly in love, haha. We all have our own truth to live, and this is mine. So welcome.
For those of you who don’t know me at all, let me properly introduce myself. My name is Dena. My age is irrelevant because I am ageless. I’m a passionate, tree hugging vegan, whose main goal in life is to be happy and bring happiness to others. Though this isn’t who I always was. See before, I was absolutely driven and positive about my path in life so I found me an engine that said it could and spent the past 10 years pursuing a career in music. That girl didn’t follow the typical path, i.e. college life, dating and getting drunk on the weekends. Yep, I gave up living a normal life and normal experiences because music was all I cared about. My dream was all that mattered, therefore all the other areas of my life suffered greatly. However, it would pay off in the end, right? As a teenager, my worst fear was being thought of by others as ordinary. Always wanting to stand out in the crowd. Ok, so I’ll admit it, I’m kind of an attention whore! Haha. Growing up, I never felt like I fit in anyway and to be honest I secretly enjoyed that fact. If everyone is going this way…well, I’m going that way, lol! Maybe she’s stubborn, maybe she just knows what she wants. Though despite my rebel nature to go against the grain, I consider myself down to earth. When people tell me they’re intimidated by me, I always tell them to knock it off immediately! I’m no better than you and you are no better than me. See, I’m a genuinely nice person and some would say, too nice. However, the statement, don’t mistake my kindness for weakness, definitely applies here. I have a naturally bubbly personality. I’m silly. I like to have fun. When I’m happiest, you’ll know it because I will break out into song and dance whenever and wherever, with or without music. I don’t need to hear music because it already runs through my veins. I like to laugh a lot, but I will often use laughter to hide my pain. In fact I wrote a song called “Behind A Smile” which was very telling (way back when) but really no one picked up on it to be anything other then a cool song from my full length CD “Mirror”. Which I receive no royalties from btw. That is the part people often don’t see. Just because I act like a goofy nut ball most of the time, doesn’t mean I’m an idiot. I’ve been through a lot. I’ve seen a lot. Let me just say here and now, that I am so blessed to have always had the support of my family. Indulging my dreams, investing financially and emotionally, and protecting me. They truly give me (and my brothers) unconditional love 24/7. Maybe I don’t have a college degree or romantic relationship experiences to draw from, but I’ve had life experiences most people will never have the chance to. Consider the atrocity of mental abuse. So subtle it was that no one even knew. Just ask my therapist. ZING!!! I took it all in, suffered through years of depression, yet here I am thriving. My life has taken turns I didn’t expect and any rational person would have given up a long time ago and I wouldn’t blame them. I just have the kind of mindset that doesn’t know how to give up, even if I should. If only I had known 10 years ago, what I know now. (sigh) Hindsight really is 20/20. But then, isn’t that what life is all about? Growing and learning from our mistakes so we can discover more of who we are and what we really want? In which case, I’ve been truly successful. I now believe whole heartedly that to truly awaken into the brightest light and finally understand unconditional love, sometimes you must visit the opposite end of the stick to get there. Not that it’s necessary to do so, but for me, it’s exactly what I needed to experience. I am a work in progress. We all are. And as Abraham Hicks would say, “you’ll never get it done and you can’t get it wrong.”
Anyway, just a little generalization of the girl I used to be. The part of me I am grateful for. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be this strong. I wouldn’t be this smart. I wouldn’t be able to love so deeply. I wouldn’t understand freedom without experiencing bondage. I wouldn’t have discovered gifts I never knew I had. I cannot express enough my excitement for this year. In this blog I may refer often to my past or what I’d like to now consider a different reality, but make no mistake…I’m no longer living in it.
So what cha want me to blog about? Well, let me know if there is something specific that comes up that you’d like me to address. It can be anything! My main goal here is share with you everything that inspires me to write about in the first place. I’ve had a muzzle on for way too long, so BEWARE. 😉